A few years ago, when picking my daughter from school about 1 1/2 hours away, I got caught in a spring storm. This storm left the road slushy with a layer of ice beneath. I guess I was pushing it a bit for all of a sudden the rear of my van decided to try and make it to the city before the front and the front objected. I don't know how many circles we made but I do remember doing everything I could to get the van back in control. At one point I realized, amazingly calmly for me, that I had done all I could and I would just have deal with what happened when the van finally came to a stop. I remember trying to avoid the thought of just what the situation could be if we actually hit something or if the van rolled. But I hung on to the steering wheel and waited it out. We ended up, without rolling or crashing, in a farmer's field facing the highway. My daughter looked at me and in all seriousness said, "I don't like it here Mom. Could you please drive on the highway now." And here I thought she wanted to take the scenic and adventurous route!
I keep feeling like that with the current situation. Around and around we go, and it doesn't matter what I do, I have no control. I will have to deal with the situation when we finally land. I hate not having at least some input, some say in something that affects my future. I can only pray and hope. All sorts of images of possible futures flash through my mind - some good, some bad. But the reality is that I don't know where it will stop or how it will look.
But that's not entirely true. I do know that it will stop when GLBTQ have their relationships blessed by the church and when active homosexuals are fully accepted as deacons, priests, and deacons. My problem is that I want it NOW! This issue is not going to go away. It will come back and back again and again until there is full acceptance. Those of us who believe in the full inclusion of all of God's people will not be still or quiet and time is on our side. I take comfort in the fact that my older children reached an acceptance of homosexuality before I did, separate from my own journey. My younger daughter is already outspoken on the issue. My younger son will make up his own mind but let's face it, he hears me rant and rave about the issue enough that there is really only one possible outcome.
I would wish for change to come immediately. I doubt that it will. But I do know that it will and then it will be like slavery. We, as Christians, will look back and wonder how we could ever have treated humanbeings that way. It is this knowledge that keeps me going. It is this knowledge that gives me peace when I get a "little" over-excited about happenings in the Communion.
In the meantime, I will keep my mind on what I preached this morning. I will keep my focus on God, God's Word, and what is revealed about God's desire for all creation.