After much thought and reflection, I have decided not to worry about the meeting Tanzania. Nor will I fear whatever outcome may happen. The reason - because I know through experience that God is present in all things and even when things appear horribly wrong, God is working creatively to bring about a better world. As much as humans may work to hinder that creativeness, God is stronger and gets ever more creative. So, I place my trust in God.
Even if things don't go the way I pray they will, I know that little in my life and ministry will change. I will serve God in the bringing about of God's reign. Nothing humans decide or act upon can change that. If I cannot reach out to those in need in one way, another way will be created.
Sometimes I wonder why we are all so afraid of the Anglican Communion breaking up. Don't get me wrong. I don't wish or pray for - to the contrary. But if something is disfunctional, if something actually hinders us working to bring in God's reign then it may be time to take another look at it. If remaining a part of or keeping together the Anglican Communion becomes our over-riding goal then we have made an idol out of the WWAC. We have placed being right or being a member over and above God. We have placed something of human construction above God's continued work of creation.
Maybe part of the reason I refuse to be concerned is that it is all so remote. It is all being decided by a handful of people that I refuse to give the right to determine my life and my ministry. That I leave to God alone. Any who know me, know that I have a real problem with authority. I don't like exercising my own authroity (hence the lack of collar and title). But even more, I have a great reluctance to bow to someone else making decisions for me that bind me to certain actions. It is not that I mind someone talking to me and making requests, but as my long-suffering mother will tell you, I rebel at being told what to do. So maybe part of the reason is that whatever the decision, I will make my own choices as to the final affect on my own ministry. I will not do so willy-nilly but with prayer and consultation but in the end the decisions will be mine to make and I will face whatever consequences there may be to face. On the other hand, I will celebrate whatever blessings will occur as well.
One final word. I was on Thinking Anglicans and saw once again the phrase that TEC decided to walk apart a long time ago. My temper rose a bit at that one - about as much as when people accuse me of not reading or following the scriptures, or not being a Christian. TEC did not decide to walk apart. They have done what they have done because they sincerely believe that it is what the Spirit is calling them to do. They may be right, they may be wrong (although let's be honest - I fully support their decision vis-a-vis Gene Robinson, just as I fully support New West's decision to bless same sex relationships). They are willing to face the consequences of their actions and they do so sincerely believing those actions are God's will. Just because some may disagree with them does not mean they have chosen to walk apart or that they are apostate. Love of God and a willingness to serve God fully is at the centre of their actions. I believe that just as I believe the same of those who chose not to follow the path that TEC has chosen. I may not agree with the latter but I would not say that they have chosen to walk apart nor would I say that they are not following God for I know that they are sincere and that they truly believe they are doing God's will. I only wish they would accord the same respect to me for love of God and a desire to serve God are truly at the centre of everything I believe or do. I realize I started the paragraph speaking about TEC and then ended speaking about myself. I know that I am not a part of TEC but I do share some things with them and it is those things that bring about the accusation of "chosing to walk apart".